I. O. U. upcoming weeks.

+ t-shirt design for camp committee.
+ get better.
+ 2 camp meetings.
+ newsletter meeting.
+ Tao Nan Carnival.
+ le open house.
+ RevivalRaya v. 2 (!).
+ SadsoblueShoes.
+ company logo/newsletter logo.
+ camp programme schedule.

oh crap. right.
but good news would mean the digits are up a notch.
and no more Langkawi trip. It's now Destination Bangkok!

weee.

fools dont rush in.

dear Heart,

if you refuse, then please stop thinking about it, because there's nothing to think about because of the factors that you have mentioned why you shouldnt when you said you wouldnt. Keep out whatever it is that you thought of/still thinking about, please.

If it feels unsettling, it means it's not right whatever it is you're feeling or developing. if you feel like it's one-sided, it is (might be/still not known) (although there have been signs & erm, factors).

stop, just dont go carrying on this delusional charade. it's almost fringing on flirt now, and it doesnt seem right is getting scarier.

tread carefully.
I can't take another dreadful blow.

yours till you stop,
Nad

i always do this.

it's always like this.

just when i finally have room to breathe, the mood disappears and im stuck with lots of content, but the lack of energy to move.

this place is in need of a change, and im much too depleted to do it.

November in mourning.

see, read, absorb.
this is why november sucks.

i have to remember; it's memories.
and let the memories be a thing of the past.

world as a quackhead.

i see now how fortunate and sheltered we are.

In another part of the world so far far away, feminists of the same religion are asking women to take out their tudungs (or veils) to free themselves. An article in Today today also had another feminist saying that the "virginity before marriage" doctrine should be disregarded.

What is it that they are fighting for, i wonder. The bigger picture is much more scarier than all these and it's about time they stop pinpointing them little bits because it's not helping (the big picture). Stop questioning what you can or cannot do and do what you should. (FYI, Same principle can be applied to life.)

sad i was when i read the article. i do realise that it's pretty much different in Singapore where everything harmonious exist or pretend to exist.

Still, it's a modern world now, and albeit a few people who are indeed 'forced' to wear the veil, it's still a much personal choice. Like picking to watch a particular genre of a movie; or opting to have a bikini wax; or choosing herbalessences instead of pantene. A personal choice.

Apparently the world is so keen on freedom of speech/expression that they have forgotten the freedom to choose.

(i'm scared for us.)

HariRaya Couple.

I have 1 more week to be coupled.
Now where am i going to find a date?


(sheesh)

ouh, kite menang.

it's this war i fought and i think i lost.
not so much hari kemenangan as it is a hari keinsafan.

Selamat Hari Raya, gang.
May He fills you with happiness and all them blessed things.

i know.

yes, you're welcome.
but i know i didnt have to, really.

i was seeking for something called closure, and i think i got it. you won't see me around anymore, no worries.

confession obsession.

allow me just one close dearhellogoodbyefriend.
he keeps me company and make sure i smile when there's everybody else forgets.

is it too hard to occasionally be happy. or is it just me.

mixed emotions because it is so bittersweet. gifts remain untouched; propped beside the bed. le birthdaycard stays hidden and obsolete. reminder of thingsthatidontwanttoremember. too much details and the hands are much too tired to do what it is that's not wrong.

when i do find the strength, they always take it back.
spell out mellow-er now because it fits me so.

best kept secret: 19 days without fasting.
what is to become of me, sigh.

i dont feel so special anymore now.

thought it would be easier.

i dont need another thing to think about, really.
especially if i've had enough thoughts about it already.

friend or not, it still hurts.
don't make no difference to me.

Close to madness.

Close to madness
So demanding, I can't breathe anymore
I'll never be the same again
Please forgive me, and forget me
'Cause it's calling my name
I'll never go back again, back again,
back again, back again

Can I find some more misery?
If it can't be you, then it must be me, and
Can i find some more for me?
I'll never know, I'll never go back again,
back again, back again

Cold September, I remember
Wishing I was away
I'll never be the same again
Please forgive me and forget me
Cause it's calling my name,
it's calling, it's calling it's calling,
it's calling, it's calling

Time to time it gets easier
Time to time it gets easier again,
again, again, again...

-- BACK AGAIN, BOYKILLBOY